I feel like the first half of this year tried to bury me under a truckload of fear and unworthiness that God was wanting to heal. But man, it was hard. I wanted to hide, not shine. I wanted to become invisible, not take up more space.Read More
For so many years I’ve felt like I apologize for taking up space. I like to stand behind people so as not to get in the way. I prefer to be hidden in case I do something wrong or overstep my boundaries or say something unhelpful. I don’t feel the liberty to share the depths of my dreams, pain, or story, for fear people wouldn’t care or refuse to let me take up a little space.Read More
There has been a lot stirring within me the last few months, I feel like my heart has been ripening for more healing and rest — but more on that maybe later. I was asked recently, “What are some of your favorite leisurely activities?” I said I loved to write.
But I rarely take time to write anymore.
Which confirms something I am learning about myself: I DON’T REST WELL.Read More
"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." (Proverbs 14:1)Read More
I’ve been debating about publishing this particular post for quite some time.
Probably because it’s still really raw. And I’m still somewhere in the middle of it. And honestly? There are still days I go back to my draft folder and read it to myself. But it’s one of those hard lessons that feels bigger than me, so I decided to hit publish in case someone else needs to know they’re not alone in this season.Read More
Occasionally I will hear a message that feels like God is grabbing my soul with both hands and shaking me awake. It’s usually because He has been trying to have the same conversation with me for awhile, but I’ve yet to really listen.Read More
The days before Charlie got here, I was finishing up some final projects while I could bounce around town (big belly and all). One of those projects was a sign made out of old barn wood with a word that meant something deep to me.Read More
I've tried to sit down and write this post several times and have struggled to complete it -- not because of the interruptions of my newborn (well, yeah that too) but mainly because it's so difficult to describe these first weeks with our little guy.Read More
To my one and only son this Easter,
As you fell asleep in my arms last night, I was singing hymns into your ear. You seem to love melodies from the voices of those you know.Read More
40 LONG WEEKS.
We all know that babies rarely come on their actual due dates, but after living on high alert for what felt like an eternity, I was so ready to welcome this child. I had a doctor appointment scheduled for that Thursday morning and I prayed and prayed that I would have progressed from a discouraging 0 centimeters from the week before.Read More
I laugh to myself because I used to so carelessly cruise past blogs like "My Birth Story" or "Update from the Trenches of the 1st Trimester" finding them to be unnecessary. (Especially the birth stories. Wow. SCROLL FASTER, Kaysie! And now I read every sentence with unparalleled interest.)Read More
As January buds and ripens, I have a lot of friends that pick words to name the new 365 days ahead of us. This idea has always intrigued me. Being a word-lover myself, I get a little crazy about naming things. God knows this about me. Yet I have always struggled naming a year at the beginning.Read More
Without question, this year has been the hardest year of my life. I could write out a long string of words telling you about the countless hardships, but don't we all have such a list? I can tell you that it has ripped me open and scrapped out everything I thought was necessary for a happy life.Read More
"I hate myself."
I heard those words slip out from a voice behind me. I turned around to see a young woman recklessly flipping through a magazine while we stood in line to check out.Read More
I guess a blog is supposed to serve as an honest place, a place to breathe out words that matter to you. But if I'm honest, it's been a struggle to come back here.Read More
When I met Jesus, I traded some silly earthly dreams for some bigger kingdom dreams. These dreams keep me up at night. They tug hard on my soul. They make me stare at this computer screen pushing the words out and then chopping up every word because maybe it can be said better.Read More