"hi, i'm rested."
my thirties and all these inner renovations
So, “how have you been?”
We all get this question a lot, sometimes multiple times a day. Our answers can often seem like we are on autopilot. But recently I’ve been wondering what it would feel like to respond with a simple but confident, “I’m really rested.”
our home's mission statement
I discovered that the foundation I was standing on can’t actually sustain the trauma and weight of my humanity, but He is uncovering another foundation that is simple and pure and stronger than I hoped.
soil work, soul work
We believe home is the roof and walls around our story and what we value. So we had a lot of conversations together before we circled around a few things we want our home to protect, represent, and give.
we bought our house!
My mind is also in a sweaty place of detangling thoughts that have some very deep roots. I've been doing a lot of soul work this year. It has been hard and it has been sweaty and I have often wanted to give up.
and I'm still learning how to take up space
Guys! We bought our house today!
taking up space
I feel like the first half of this year tried to bury me under a truckload of fear and unworthiness that God was wanting to heal. But man, it was hard. I wanted to hide, not shine. I wanted to become invisible, not take up more space.
shaking off the dust
For so many years I’ve felt like I apologize for taking up space. I like to stand behind people so as not to get in the way. I prefer to be hidden in case I do something wrong or overstep my boundaries or say something unhelpful. I don’t feel the liberty to share the depths of my dreams, pain, or story, for fear people wouldn’t care or refuse to let me take up a little space.
w i s d o m and what she builds
There has been a lot stirring within me the last few months, I feel like my heart has been ripening for more healing and rest — but more on that maybe later. I was asked recently, “What are some of your favorite leisurely activities?” I said I loved to write.
But I rarely take time to write anymore.
Which confirms something I am learning about myself: I DON’T REST WELL.
dear new mom, it's okay to grieve
"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." (Proverbs 14:1)
ashes are the beginning of abundance
I’ve been debating about publishing this particular post for quite some time.
Probably because it’s still really raw. And I’m still somewhere in the middle of it. And honestly? There are still days I go back to my draft folder and read it to myself. But it’s one of those hard lessons that feels bigger than me, so I decided to hit publish in case someone else needs to know they’re not alone in this season.
Rejoicing, Homemaking, and Motherhood
Occasionally I will hear a message that feels like God is grabbing my soul with both hands and shaking me awake. It’s usually because He has been trying to have the same conversation with me for awhile, but I’ve yet to really listen.
On Becoming A Mama: The First Weeks At Home
The days before Charlie got here, I was finishing up some final projects while I could bounce around town (big belly and all). One of those projects was a sign made out of old barn wood with a word that meant something deep to me.
To My One And Only Son This Easter
I've tried to sit down and write this post several times and have struggled to complete it -- not because of the interruptions of my newborn (well, yeah that too) but mainly because it's so difficult to describe these first weeks with our little guy.
On Becoming A Mama: The Birth of Charlie
To my one and only son this Easter,
As you fell asleep in my arms last night, I was singing hymns into your ear. You seem to love melodies from the voices of those you know.
Pregnancy: The Misery and The Mercy
40 LONG WEEKS.
We all know that babies rarely come on their actual due dates, but after living on high alert for what felt like an eternity, I was so ready to welcome this child. I had a doctor appointment scheduled for that Thursday morning and I prayed and prayed that I would have progressed from a discouraging 0 centimeters from the week before.
arise, rebuild [a chorus and mission for 2015]
I laugh to myself because I used to so carelessly cruise past blogs like "My Birth Story" or "Update from the Trenches of the 1st Trimester" finding them to be unnecessary. (Especially the birth stories. Wow. SCROLL FASTER, Kaysie! And now I read every sentence with unparalleled interest.)
many letting goes
As January buds and ripens, I have a lot of friends that pick words to name the new 365 days ahead of us. This idea has always intrigued me. Being a word-lover myself, I get a little crazy about naming things. God knows this about me. Yet I have always struggled naming a year at the beginning.
the broken mirrors
Without question, this year has been the hardest year of my life. I could write out a long string of words telling you about the countless hardships, but don't we all have such a list? I can tell you that it has ripped me open and scrapped out everything I thought was necessary for a happy life.
the honest place
"I hate myself."
I heard those words slip out from a voice behind me. I turned around to see a young woman recklessly flipping through a magazine while we stood in line to check out.
I guess a blog is supposed to serve as an honest place, a place to breathe out words that matter to you. But if I'm honest, it's been a struggle to come back here.