Posts in From My Heart
"hi, i'm rested."

So, “how have you been?”

We all get this question a lot, sometimes multiple times a day. Our answers can often seem like we are on autopilot. But recently I’ve been wondering what it would feel like to respond with a simple but confident, “I’m really rested.”

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soil work, soul work

My mind is also in a sweaty place of detangling thoughts that have some very deep roots. I've been doing a lot of soul work this year. It has been hard and it has been sweaty and I have often wanted to give up.

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and I'm still learning how to take up space

I feel like the first half of this year tried to bury me under a truckload of fear and unworthiness that God was wanting to heal. But man, it was hard. I wanted to hide, not shine. I wanted to become invisible, not take up more space.

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taking up space

For so many years I’ve felt like I apologize for taking up space. I like to stand behind people so as not to get in the way. I prefer to be hidden in case I do something wrong or overstep my boundaries or say something unhelpful. I don’t feel the liberty to share the depths of my dreams, pain, or story, for fear people wouldn’t care or refuse to let me take up a little space.

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shaking off the dust

There has been a lot stirring within me the last few months, I feel like my heart has been ripening for more healing and rest — but more on that maybe later. I was asked recently, “What are some of your favorite leisurely activities?” I said I loved to write.

But I rarely take time to write anymore.

Which confirms something I am learning about myself: I DON’T REST WELL.

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dear new mom, it's okay to grieve

I’ve been debating about publishing this particular post for quite some time.

Probably because it’s still really raw. And I’m still somewhere in the middle of it. And honestly? There are still days I go back to my draft folder and read it to myself. But it’s one of those hard lessons that feels bigger than me, so I decided to hit publish in case someone else needs to know they’re not alone in this season.

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ashes are the beginning of abundance

Occasionally I will hear a message that feels like God is grabbing my soul with both hands and shaking me awake. It’s usually because He has been trying to have the same conversation with me for awhile, but I’ve yet to really listen.

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On Becoming A Mama: The Birth of Charlie

40 LONG WEEKS.

We all know that babies rarely come on their actual due dates, but after living on high alert for what felt like an eternity, I was so ready to welcome this child. I had a doctor appointment scheduled for that Thursday morning and I prayed and prayed that I would have progressed from a discouraging 0 centimeters from the week before.

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Pregnancy: The Misery and The Mercy

I laugh to myself because I used to so carelessly cruise past blogs like "My Birth Story" or "Update from the Trenches of the 1st Trimester" finding them to be unnecessary. (Especially the birth stories. Wow. SCROLL FASTER, Kaysie! And now I read every sentence with unparalleled interest.) 

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arise, rebuild [a chorus and mission for 2015]

As January buds and ripens, I have a lot of friends that pick words to name the new 365 days ahead of us. This idea has always intrigued me. Being a word-lover myself, I get a little crazy about naming things. God knows this about me. Yet I have always struggled naming a year at the beginning.

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many letting goes

Without question, this year has been the hardest year of my life. I could write out a long string of words telling you about the countless hardships, but don't we all have such a list? I can tell you that it has ripped me open and scrapped out everything I thought was necessary for a happy life.

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the broken mirrors

"I hate myself."

I heard those words slip out from a voice behind me. I turned around to see a young woman recklessly flipping through a magazine while we stood in line to check out.

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the honest place

I guess a blog is supposed to serve as an honest place, a place to breathe out words that matter to you. But if I'm honest, it's been a struggle to come back here.

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