the honest place

I guess a blog is supposed to serve as an honest place, a place to breathe out words that matter to you. But if I'm honest, it's been a struggle to come back here.

I'm impatient with the words.

I'm tired of the masks tied onto each one.

I'm fighting voices in my head, words with swords and knives.

But I cannot surrender to the silence. I find myself here, shadows around me as I trip over letters and spaces just hoping to find that honest place again.

There are longer spaces in between each sentence.

There are pauses in between words.

I am searching and sacrificing words just to scrap the bottom of the place that pulses true.

If I find it, I know there will be gold. I know there will be something worth saying.

And I know it will matter somehow.